Had a coaching session with a peer this morning. And for some reason, I felt this sudden urge to address a topic that’s been one of my major sources of irritation for the past many weeks.
Let me give you a hint — “I can’t get no sa-tis-fac-tion… I can’t get no, satisfaction!” Listen, that’s not only my favorite (one of) songs… but that’s how I fell. All the freaking time!
Part of the problem could be this fetish to have impossibly high standards. I say “impossible” because I make the biggest, brightest and a genius of a person feel horribly insecure if I have to put them through to my expectations. I literally would be setting them up for failure. And I’m not kidding.
They’d be guaranteed to fail!
And during the session, my coach helped me unravel some of the reasons — including my expectations, standards, and major deterrents. While we were in the flow, I blurted something in the lines of “I think I should be more kind to myself.” She asked me to define what “kindness” means to me. And that was the tipping point leading me to a deeper exploration of the reasons why I’m dissatisfied.
Let me tell you one thing, it’s not easy to be vulnerable. But you ought to be courageous enough to face your fears and even swallow the bitter pill if that’s what is needed to move forward. And here’s my definition:
Kindness is a state of mind where you don’t get to judge yourself for what you are not or what you don’t have but celebrate your true potential. It’s a place where it’s totally okay to fail, be vulnerable because you as a person is more important than you failures or losses. It’s a place where your inadequacies don’t define you but celebrate you being you.
We get so fixated on our shortcomings that we forget how far we’ve come from where we’d started several years back. We can be so much happier if we could just pause, reflect and appreciate the journey we’ve covered so far.
I think it’s more than just okay to be a little kind to yourself. You deserve it.